Nancy Grace reprimanded by the courts

Next time your grandma gets finished watching the Laurence Welk Show, puts on her bifocals, and flips on Nancy Grace for her “evening news” it might be worth watching for a few minutes (or until Nancy starts frothing at the mouth).  I’m not saying it will be easy. In fact, I know it will hurt.

Nancy Grace is a horrible person. She demonstrates that to the entire world on T.V. and Twitter.  She’s horrible because she ignores your presumption of innocence.  She’s a troll for thinking everybody ever charged anywhere is guilty.  She’s an idiot for not caring about science or reason, especially when it comes to things like narcotics and the war on drugs.

How, then, can Nancy be so popular?  Not because of the psychotic-looking, thousand-yard-stare she takes on when she’s getting ready to get worked up.  It’s clearly not because of her “long” career as an “ethical” prosecutor.  Is it because of Dancing With The Stars? Nah. She couldn’t move her hooves well enough to beat Rikki Lake.

She’s popular because she follows the same tried-and-true, pathetic formula that will make anybody  in the world of criminal justice popular: She panders to victims.  When you pander to victims, and do it well, the public will love you. Even if you victimize the victims in the process.

She certainly didn’t invent victim pandering. Long before your grandma started watching her show, politicians had perfected the art.  Want to get elected? Say you’re tough on crime. Want to beat the guy who’s already saying he’s tough on crime? Say you’re tougher on crime, and you’ll listen to the poor victims that nobody is ever wanting to help.  Want to be a lawmaker that’s popular with the constituents? Pass a law- any law- that somehow deals with giving the “victims” a better voice. Or a bigger voice. Or stronger voice in “the system.”  Even if the law really does nothing.

It doesn’t matter how bullshit the law or claims of toughness on crime may be.  It happens in because it works.

That’s why little, scared, old people love Nancy. She’s looking out for the meek, voiceless victims.

What Nancy does, better than any of the other victim panderers, though, is demonstrate how absurd victim pandering is, and just how blindly the sheep will follow anybody masquerading as a victim advocate.

Imagine a poor, defenseless little baby. You know, one so young she can’t walk, can’t talk and can’t even fire the brain synapses enough to form a bad thought.  Hell, let’s pretend it’s even your baby. Now pretend somebody tried to kill your baby by putting it in the clothes dryer.

Pretty morbid, no? Horrible, yes? Not very funny, right?

Here’s how champion of victim’s rights, and national media celebrity Nancy Grace chose to describe that poor kid to the world:

That’s right. She just joked about a little kid- a victim- being stuffed in a dryer and put on permanent press.  The result? 139 of her twitter followers shared it, and 52 marked it as a favorite tweet. Who the hell would do that?

Don’t ask me. I think it’s despicable.  Nancy obviously doesn’t, though.  “Dryer Baby” was only one, in a long line, of her crass characterizations of the people she claims to protect. Let’s never forget “Box of Babies”

Or anymore of her horrid, victim-preying descriptions.

Therein lies the most pathetic, non-nonsensical part of victim pandering. That’s the idea that, if you can convince people to believe you will cater to victims, nobody will care about any of the details-  Even if you’re mocking victims and their tragedies in the process of pretending to protect them.  Nancy Grace does it every night, and your grandma loves it.  That’s the Nancy Grace effect.

 Matt Haiduk is a criminal defense lawyer in Illinois. He doesn’t like Nancy Grace… even a little bit.