We’ve promised more contributors and, damnit, we’re not the kind of people who promise stuff and don’t come through.  We’ve been searching high-and-low for people people who can add something different to our little corner of Al Gore’s internet. We would really like to highlight the perspective of people you’re not going to bump into on a normal day.

We’re taking a big step forward on delivering that today.  No, our letters asking O.J. Simpson and Rod Blagojevich have not been answered, yet (we’re waiting…).  Just as exciting, though, our call for contributions from lawyers from a foreign country have been heard.  Jason Tarnow, a criminal “defence” lawyer operating out of the Vancouver, Canada area is stepping up to the plate, and we couldn’t be happier.

Now, before you go on thinking that Canada is really just America’s hat, stop yourself.  Their system is completely different.  Hell, they hardly even speak the same language, eh?

We’re really looking forward to Jason’s insight.  We’re anxious to hear what is good about the Canadian system, and whether or not there are aspects of their system that aren’t working, or are working really well.  More importantly, we’re really looking forward to what somebody like Jason thinks is wrong with our system.

Without anything further, lets take a minute to get to know Jason Tarnow, Vancouver area defence attorney (and international man of law):

So, Jason, Americans think of the “typical” Canadian as somebody who rides a dogsled, lives in an Igloo, eats charred reindeer bits and drinks a lot of Fosters.  What do “you people” think of us?

We think of Americans as a people who  generally don’t know much of anything outside their own borders nor do they have good taste in beer. Firstly, Canadians don’t ride dogsleds, live in igloos, nor eat reindeer. Secondly, Fosters is from Australia, and is almost as shitty as Bud Light.

Intersting.  Although living in an igloo sounds fun.  What did you go through to become a Canadian lawyer?

About 7 years of university, 1 year of being an “articling” student (aka: being another lawyer’s bitch), and the ability to fake your way through the Bar exam.

Sounds a lot like the U.S., although we prefer to skip that “articling” thing and send people into practice with absolutely no experience.  With the events of last week fresh on everybody’s mind, guns control is a big topic of legal discussion right now.  How much gun crime do you deal with up there?

Guns are highly regulated in Canada, and unless you need a rifle for shooting a reindeer in the deep woods, you aren’t allowed to own one. However, there is unfortunately a fair bit of gun violence in major Canadian cities. Interestingly enough, many of the guns involved in crimes in Canada are smuggled across the border from ‘merica.

Interesting.  Canadian defence attorneys go against “The Crown”.  We fought a revolution so we wouldn’t even have to talk about royalty.  Explain to us how this “Crown” thing happens.

I may be mistaken, but aren’t the Kardashians America’s royal family?

In Canada, Her Majesty the Queen is the figurative head of state. The “Crown” is a symbolic term used to signify and acknowledge our historic ties with the British Commonwealth, and it is how we address our learned friends in the prosecutors office. Queen Elizabeth is no Kim Kardashian, but she reigns supreme in Canada’s legal tradition.

Well, if we’re talking fake royalty, let’s talk about Canada’s national past-time.  If defense is half any team sport, Wayne Gretzky never played 5 seconds of defense on any shift in his life, and Canadians call him “The Great One,”  how are you not all just a bunch of liars?

Firstly, in Canada we spell it with a “c”. It is defenCe.

Secondly, while he may not have been a force on defence, The Great One’s offensive records will never be broken. That’s the truth.

Thirdly…. wait…. just watch this video….


 

I REST MY CASE.